Everyone should write in journals. Even if writing isn’t your thing – I get that, I really do – you can still use it as a means of tracking favorite verses, quotes, or prayer requests. I wasn’t a journaler until the summer after my second year of college. I never knew how much that would open me up. In a way, it’s made this blog possible. It taught me the value of words.
Part of the brainstorming process for writing the devotional has been pouring through all of my old journals, which in turn has been one of the most rewarding experiences. To see how the Lord and I have changed, how he has led me and developed me… it’s powerful, y’all.
One of the things I came across was from my very first journal – when my faith was at one of its strongest points and when I made a habit out of relying on the Lord, something I desperately crave now. I wrote a letter from the Lord to myself. And while this is something incredibly personal, and maybe it’s presumptuous to put words in his mouth… maybe it’s also something he’s trying to say to you.
I love you, you know? I want to reach you and guide you. I don’t want you to hide from me or try to figure it out alone. Don’t get full of your own thoughts. I want you to know mine, but I need you to seek me in order to have my thoughts be your own. Please search for my heart; I’ve left it everywhere for you.
Don’t try to fix it on your own. Only I can do that, but you have to let me. I promise if it’s me you’re turning to, I’ll fix it. I’ll guide you. I want to. I know you feel so confused; you wonder why I would keep changing things, why your emotions won’t settle. It’s because I don’t want them to. There is a reason for all this, I promise. But it’s not your job to know that reason, it’s mine.
You need to learn what trust is all about. I can teach you. I can show you. I need you to trust me so that I can do all these things for you. Come seek me. Don’t you know it will give your heart so much peace?
Emily, let me love you to the fullest extent that I can. You’ll be amazed.
It’s crazy to think that at that time I was focused on learning the Lord’s heart. And now, 7 years later, that’s the preface for this devotional – Heartbeat.