Not going to lie, being a stay at home mom has been way harder than I expected. I’ve covered the gist of that in (every single) one of the early month updates for Scarlett, but I just don’t think I could’ve understood what it meant to be with someone every minute of every day. I know Scarlett so well already, and I know I’m only going to learn more about her as time goes by. You guys, that’s the most exciting thing in the world. That I get to discover my little girl.
We get her out of the house as much as we can, and she always is just a teensy bit shy around everyone else. She warms up to family and close friends awfully fast, but she’s definitely completely at ease around my husband and me. She’s silly and giggly and smiley, where as her smiles have to be earned by strangers (thank goodness😉).
Whenever she wakes up for a nap, I feed her right away. The minutes following that time are some of my absolute favorite minutes of the day – she’s so snuggly, she literally just looks at me and smiles so big that her nose crinkles up. It makes my heart soar every single time. That happened earlier today, and it hit me: I wish everyone else could see exactly what I see when I look at her.
It’s easy for anyone to see how beautiful she is. Anyone can see the smiles, or the 213091283 pictures and videos I post on a daily basis. But they can’t see her quite like I can. Because they don’t know her like I do, faults and all. They can’t feel the pride I feel seeing how far she’s come in being able to be joyful throughout the day. They can’t feel the pain I feel when she hurts herself when she’s simply discovering the world around her. They can love her, but they can’t love her in the exact same way as me.
And then God decided to give me a reality check, as He so dearly loves to do. Because, if that’s how I feel about her, how do you think He feels about me?
I want the world to see you like I see you, Emily.
He knows my faults, and sees me as blameless. He sees how far I’ve come, and he’s incredibly proud of me. He feels pain when I hurt myself simply by following the ways of the world, rather than sticking safe close to Him. And others can love me, but none like him.
I might have unconditional love for Scarlett, but the love that I have for her pales in comparison to the love God has for me, and the love He has for her. He sees me how no one else can – all of me. His heart overflows with love for me.
And that’s exactly what He hopes for when we look at one another. The love I have for Scarlett? That’s what He wants me to feel and see when I look at everyone else. That’s the capacity for love that we have.
“Love one another. As I have loved you, so must you love one another.”
John 13:34 NIV
How different would my life look if I just even tried to love others the way I love Scarlett, or my husband, or my family? How much richer or sweeter would it be?