To be honest, there are a lot of things my husband and I struggle with. We’re human, and it shows through more so with each other than it does in any other relationship that we have. We have this one thing that really seems to cause us some difficulty. We knew it was a weakness for us before we got married, from the beginning of our relationship.
It’s caused so. many. fights. over the years. And having a kid hasn’t changed it. It’s something that I honestly don’t think we will ever overcome.
You see, we’re both incredibly stubborn. And reactive (possibly me more-so than him). And quick to assume. And quick to jump at each other over the littlest of things.
Our weakness is our communication.
He will say something completely harmless and without intent, and I’ll take it to mean a personal attack. I’ll let my frustration regarding one aspect of my life or something that happened that day to seep into my tone, and he’ll consider it as me placing the blame on him. And because we react, it makes it cyclical.
Struggling with communicating with him isn’t fun. But you know what? I’m learning how to welcome the struggle, because it constantly reminds me of just how much we have grown. There’s now an always increasing likelihood that one of us (he) will say sorry, and we’ve gained an ability to bounce back right after. The understanding we’ve come to have over our tendencies and quirks like this, we now anticipate the struggle, and don’t let it have a baring on our days or moods or attitudes.
“Our weakness, and our ability to overcome it, show us our strength.”
That’s one of my favorite verses, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I’ve always interpreted it personally, applicable to me and my life, me and my relationship with the Lord. But isn’t is applicable in everything? The times when you are weakest, in an endeavor, in friendships and relationships, you get to see just how strong they really are.
So when we hear to delight in that, to honestly and truly be glad of our shortcomings… that means in all areas of our life. Not just with ourselves intrinsically, but in the ways in which we are able to see strength in all areas of our lives. Because in seeing strength, we must first acknowledge the weakness. And in acknowledging them, we see how far we’ve come.
My husband and I will always bicker, argue, and fight back. We’ll still forget to fill the other in on something, misinterpret a tone, or pick apart statements for the sake of the argument. But from where we were 7 years ago, 6 years ago? We have grown so much. Because we want to overcome it. We don’t want to hurt each other, we don’t want to let one conversation control our attitudes and relationship for that entire day. We let it make us stronger. We let it show us how strong we, and our relationship, can actually be.